It's a Tuesday morning and I'm sitting under a neon orange tent in a parking lot, looking at a windshield with a crack across the lower left corner. The car belongs to someone who dropped it off while they went grocery shopping. They'll be back in an hour or so.
This was my summer job, repairing windshields on commission in a hot, half-empty parking lot. Some days were exciting. Most days I watched people come and go and watched time move slower than it had any right to.
At some point that summer I started bringing books. I wasn't trying to become a better person. I just needed something to do. First it was audiobooks during repairs, then paperbacks for the slow afternoons.
And the books started working on me. It wasn't dramatic. It was more like your eyes adjusting when you walk into a dark room, slowly, until one day you notice you can see things you couldn't before.
Why I think reading is worth the time
You already know you should read more. Knowing that probably hasn't made you want to, so I won't lecture you.
Here's how I think about it. A book is someone's years of thinking, research and mistakes on one subject, condensed into something you can get through in a few evenings. You're borrowing some of the best thinking in the world for the price of a paperback. That's a ridiculous deal.
Charlie Munger, Warren Buffett's business partner, liked to say that he'd never met a truly wise person who didn't read all the time. Most of us aren't running Berkshire Hathaway, but I think that holds for whatever you're building.
The book that helped save my marriage
A few years ago I was in counselling. I had a control problem, and when control doesn't get what it wants, it turns into anger. I called it frustration, or high standards, or caring about outcomes. Emily knew what it was, and she was more patient with me than I deserved.
My counsellor recommended a book called Uprooting Anger. I read it in under a week, which says a lot given the headspace I was in.
The idea I couldn't shake was that there are two kinds of anger. One is rooted in self: I didn't get my way, I was inconvenienced, I was embarrassed. The other is rooted in justice, when someone is actually being mistreated. Most of what we call anger is the first kind dressed up as the second.
The test I took from it is simple. Would God be angered by this? The coffee spilled, the meeting ran long, the kids are loud at bedtime when I'm exhausted. No. So I can let it go. And when something is genuinely wrong, the anger has a place to go.
I haven't mastered it. But now when I feel it rising, I have somewhere to put it, and that one book at the right time has turned into years of a calmer home.
The reasons people give for not reading
"I don't have time." I have four kids, work full time, manage rental properties, run this podcast and serve at church. I always have a book with me, and it isn't because I have a lot of free time. It's because there's a book in the car, one on the nightstand and an audiobook ready on my phone. The ten minutes in a parking lot before an appointment add up. Most of us fill those minutes with scrolling. I do too sometimes, and the scroll rarely gives anything back.
"I never finish books." Me neither, a lot of the time. I have a long list of books I started and put down, and I've made peace with that. You don't owe a book your time. If it isn't landing, find one that does.
"I don't know where to start." Ask the people you admire what they're reading and what changed their thinking. Their answers will tell you a lot about how they think.
What actually helps
- Keep books everywhere. In the car, on the nightstand, on your phone. Having to go find a book is enough friction to stop most people.
- Mix formats. I listen when my hands are busy and read paper when I want to slow down and think.
- Write in your books. It feels wrong at first. But writing in the margins turns reading into a conversation, and that's where it sticks. Some of my most marked-up books could be new books from the margin notes alone.
- Screenshot audiobooks. When something hits, grab the timestamp. It takes five seconds.
- Talk about what you're reading. Tell Emily, a friend or your kids. Explaining an idea is the fastest way to understand it.
A few books worth starting with
These aren't the most popular picks on a list somewhere. They're the ones that changed how I think.
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie has done more for my ability to walk into a room and connect with people than almost anything else, even if the title makes some people bristle.
Ego Is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday is a short read built on stoicism, and it challenged my ego in ways that stuck.
The Intentional Father by Jon Tyson is written for dads of teenagers, but I started it early and it's already shaping how I think about the legacy I leave my kids.
The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel changes how you think about money more than it fills your head with tactics.
Love Does by Bob Goff is for anyone who wants more joy and a bit more whimsy in their everyday life.
The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy is about taking one small thing and repeating it until it becomes a habit for life, which is exactly what reading does over time.
And if you want to spark your creativity, read science fiction. Start with Red Rising by Pierce Brown. You'll understand why after the first fifty pages.
Back to the parking lot
I think about that orange tent sometimes, and the guy sitting under it just trying to get through the afternoon. He thought he was passing time.
The books were doing something to him that wouldn't show up for years: how I build relationships, how I talk to people, and the curiosity that eventually led to ten rental doors and this podcast. None of it showed up in the parking lot, but that's where it started.
You already have the time. What's the book you'll keep in your car this week?